the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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