she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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