i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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