He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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