using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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