His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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