Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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