Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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