Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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