I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
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I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
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I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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