He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
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Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
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From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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