Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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