the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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