I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize