i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
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I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
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seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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