Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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