He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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