I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize