Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize