And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize