Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize