yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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