So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize