the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize