nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize