I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize