i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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