So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
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i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
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you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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