bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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