I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize