She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize