So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
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the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
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He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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