If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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