My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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