hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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