i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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