A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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