Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
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Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
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I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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