I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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