Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
How external is "for external use only"?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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