i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
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New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
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PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
this hospital has no fireball
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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