i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize