Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal

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  (516): the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal http://tfl.nu/ymjw
  Replies (15) Good night (1036) Bad night (2978) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.

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  (519): so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours. http://tfl.nu/o2pq
  Replies (15) Good night (4472) Bad night (1325) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia

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  (978): I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia http://tfl.nu/pfmm
  Replies (9) Good night (4514) Bad night (808)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there

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  (813): he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there http://tfl.nu/k2pn
  Replies (14) Good night (6573) Bad night (829) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.

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  (517): All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop. http://tfl.nu/gnt9
  Replies (12) Good night (3181) Bad night (1378) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.

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  (484): Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved. http://tfl.nu/qswh
  Replies (7) Good night (3724) Bad night (1159) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.

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  (785): this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila. http://tfl.nu/7xsl
  Replies (3) Good night (1269) Bad night (850) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?

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  (575): Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night? http://tfl.nu/drd1
  Replies (9) Good night (3148) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid

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  (509): And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid http://tfl.nu/oqc1
  Replies (9) Good night (3390) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  So basically you were a dog.

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  (860): This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground. (802): So basically you were a dog. http://tfl.nu/0n1s
  Replies (14) Good night (8037) Bad night (755)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.

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  (715): I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far. http://tfl.nu/o4x5
  Replies (5) Good night (1445) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Marry him. Now.

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  (570): He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight. (1-570): Marry him. Now. http://tfl.nu/5wky
  Replies (13) Good night (3811) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.

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  (208): You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago. http://tfl.nu/c2e3
  Replies (6) Good night (1325) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Get your penis over here NOW. emergency

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  (402): Get your penis over here NOW. emergency http://tfl.nu/eywx
  Replies (10) Good night (2045) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  You gays are geniuses

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  (931): I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now (1-931): You gays are geniuses http://tfl.nu/19l5
  Replies (6) Good night (1287) Bad night (233) Order T-Shirt

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