just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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