No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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