he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
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Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
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She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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