i may or may not be watching the land before time
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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