guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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