didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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