No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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