We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
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there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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